The Sun XIX
The Scientist – Coldplay
December 2, 2017
My frustration had finally caught up with me; my words seldom lived inside the walls of my mind because my tongue funneled them from my mouth faster than I could stop them.
“I just don’t fucking get it. What is the universe even trying to tell me? I just need one fucking sign!” I screamed. Easily when I’m found in public I can attract most eyes in my direction. Now, being one of those times. I told you I couldn’t hold my words to myself, what a blessing and curse wrapped in one paper brown bag.
I was sitting on a bench before class, alone, like any other time I was at this god awful school. My hands paralyzed from writers block because my emotions wouldn’t allow themselves to be released onto the paper, typical. The winds of fate had brushed down my neck sending a shiver the base of my spine. I need to find the sun.
I gather my things, frame hunched over from low self-esteem and years of bad posture. Picked my feet up and began walking to the brighter side of the campus and towards my class. Rarely was I caught without headphones in, music was the only thing calm enough to keep my soul rested and silent. Music kept me from being shaken, and almost immersed me into a whole other timeline. Kept me walking somewhere that was in fact better than where I had been keeping myself lately. Music can’t drown one thing out and it was your face. My heart hadn’t forgotten your existence.
Much to my surprise picking my gaze from the floor you were standing across the way like a mirage. An illusion that was playing nasty games with my head. Hey Oliver wears red flannels all the time, how amusing would it be if that was him across the way. The closer I came the more my words had sunk in.
“Oh wow that really looks like Oliver. I think I know that red flannel.”
“Oh no, I’ve worn that red flannel.”
My chest felt like a hundred bricks were lying on top of me. The oxygen stolen from my lungs, it was a sure sign of your presence because my body completely shuts down when I’m around you. It took everything to walk right past you. I’m not sure if your eyes had caught my aura but if I’m sure of anything it’s that I know you felt me. You felt the missed love.